Letting Go, Leaning In, Doubling Down on Purpose

By Zabeen Hirji

There’s a particular gravitas to sitting at “table one” at corporate dinners, charity galas, and conferences.  It’s more than just a prime seat; it’s a symbol — a subtle yet unmistakable marker of influence that tells the room you’re “someone,” that your organizational title and influence have earned you a place among the country’s who’s who.

For years, I found myself seated at table one as the Chief Human Resources Officer at Canada’s largest financial institution — and one of the most respected companies. It was a place that embodied status, reflected my achievements and responsibilities, and, in many ways, shaped my identity.

A New Seat at the Table

When I retired from RBC and transitioned out of a full-time, full-on corporate executive career to step into my Purposeful Third Act, I found myself sitting at tables much further down the list. Let’s call this proverbial table table 89.

At first, it wasn’t just the number on the table card that struck me — it was what it represented. It wasn’t just a change in physical space; it was a reordering of significance, a quiet recalibration of how my value was perceived and, equally important, how I perceived myself.

Sitting at table 89 was sobering.

It marked the stark transition from a role that had flung open doors and affirmed my place in the corporate hierarchy to a space where influence was no longer assumed. My ego wrestled with the shift. For so long, my identity had been tied to the instant recognition that came with being “at the front of the room.” Stepping away meant confronting not just the absence of those external markers, but also the parts of myself that had become accustomed to them.

What Table 89 Taught Me

Table 89 offered an unexpected gift. It stripped away the corporate veneer that often shaped interactions at table one. The conversations were more authentic, the connections unfiltered by status, and the perspectives refreshingly unexpected. It reminded me that influence doesn’t need a spotlight; it thrives in spaces where authenticity holds more weight than titles. After all, leadership isn’t a title — it’s reflected in our actions and behaviours.

This isn’t to say that transitions at this stage are easy. On the contrary: they are hard — very hard! The roles and markers of success that once defined us can bind us to a version of ourselves that no longer fits who we are becoming. Letting go of table one wasn’t just about relinquishing a seat; it was about redefining my sense of worth and reconnecting with what truly matters.

Doubling Down on Purpose

Personal reflection and rediscovery became the cornerstone of this journey.

For me, it was less about reinvention and more about rediscovery — bringing to light the core values and purpose that had quietly guided me all along. My purpose — to unlock human potential and build inclusive prosperity — remained constant, though it shifted from being implicit to fully articulated. What changed were the opportunities to express it in new and meaningful ways, which required letting go, unleashing my curiosity, and stepping up.

Making Difficult Choices

This clarity meant I had to be intentional about the opportunities I embraced. For example, when a high-profile board opportunity came my way, the decision wasn’t simple. It carried all the hallmarks of what is traditionally celebrated as success: prestige, visibility, and financial rewards. It was the kind of offer that could have easily reinforced my place in the corporate hierarchy. Yet, as I wrestled with the offer, I realized the organization’s purpose, while clearly impactful, didn’t reflect my “why” nor the societal and economic impact I wanted to make.

Instead, I chose to join the board of Sleep Country Canada (SCC). Yes, a respected Canadian retail brand, but a mid-size company — much smaller than RBC. I knew some people would view this as a step down.

“Depends on how you look at it,” one of my advisors said, prompting a broader discussion with three seasoned board directors. They highlighted that smaller organizations often provide greater opportunities to influence strategy and growth. They also noted that my business and governance experience could create a more meaningful impact in a mid-size company.

Ultimately, my decision to join the board of SCC was a deliberate step towards purpose alignment. A long-time disciple of Arianna Huffington’s Sleep chapter in her book Thrive, I had come to view sleep as a cornerstone of physical and mental health, both of which are essential to unlocking human potential.

As a board director, I was able to draw on both my HR expertise and broader senior business executive experience to contribute meaningfully to conversations and decisions. And there was plenty of learning — from the dynamics of the retail sector to navigating online-only retail through acquisitions to nurturing an entrepreneurial spirit in a public company. This experience underscored the importance of defining success on your own terms, no matter your career stage.

Intentionality has become a guiding principle for me. The first role I accepted was as Executive Advisor at Deloitte, where I advise the firm and its clients — both in the business and public sectors — on transformative people issues. These include the future of work, leadership, talent, culture, EDI, skills and lifelong learning, well-being, and purpose-led organizations. I’m able to leverage my deep HR expertise, as well as C-suite and board experience (some might call that wisdom), to bring to life both my purpose and Deloitte’s purpose to #makeanimpactthatmatters. This role helps me stay at the leading edge by learning from every interaction with clients and colleagues and through reciprocal mentoring. While I was lucky to have a few options for a role like this, Deloitte aligned so well with my purpose, the culture was attractive to me, its a global powerhouse and I felt a sense of belonging right from the start.

Authenticity: My Most Trusted Advisor

The transition to a Purposeful Third Act is not without its challenges, but this is balanced with its full offering of joy.

For many, retirement is seen as a time to rest and enjoy the fruits of one’s labour. But for those who have spent decades in roles of impact and influence, the shift can feel unsettling. It’s a reset — not just of your identity, but of the rhythms that have defined your life.

My transition has been about stepping into authenticity — about being “Zabeen” all the time, well, at least most of the time. It’s the freedom to express my independent opinions, the freedom to choose what I do and don’t commit to, and the freedom to choose what I want to learn and explore next.

Purpose becomes the North Star in this uncharted territory, grounding you as you navigate choices and decisions that reflect your values. The focus shifts — from seeking external validation to cultivating personal fulfillment and finding joy through the journey.

The Natural Next…

This journey has been as much about deepening as it has been about evolving — deepening my understanding that you can lead from behind, without a title, through thoughtful actions, purposeful choices, and meaningful contributions.

Leadership isn’t about where you sit; it’s about how you show up, how you serve, and the impact you continue to make. So even if you are still sitting at table one, give table 89 a try. You’ll be surprised how much you will learn and grow.

The third act of life is an invitation to reimagine success — seeing it as a platform to elevate others, not as a ladder to climb. It’s a chance to rewrite the story of what matters most now to you and to society.

Ask yourself: Will I choose to use my hard-earned wisdom to make a social impact, or will I let it go untapped?